Monday, April 29, 2013

Day 3 The Most Physical Pain of Your Life

I realize that my "days" are a bit longer than most.  But, in my world. . .at least on my blog. . .my "days" are as I set them to be.  And that often varies.

The most physical pain I have ever been in.  This was easy.  12 hours of pitocin induced labor with NO pain killers.  The nurse then telling me "I can call you a 1.5 if that makes you feel better".  It didn't.

One week overdue with my first child and unable to progress through labor left me feeling a little inadequate as a birthing mother.  I had thought I would rock it in the birthing department.  I thought I could handle the pain.  It didn't bother me that Maui did not offer epidurals.  I liked it.  I thought it would be awesome.  Truthfully, though, it came to a point where I was ready to accept the morphine injection regardless of any side effects to me or my child.  I was delirious with pain.  Even as I type this my back is clenching.  There was no breathing like TV, no mantras, not even any screaming.  I could not even dedicate energy to scream, I was in too much pain.  The immediate pain relief that came with the spinal block necessary for my emergency C-section was so shocking I began shaking uncontrollably.  The nurse had to strap my arms down during the surgery (which is nothing like TV, either.  Bright lights, green tile, chatting about lunch, John Mayer playing. . .)  I was so 'high' from the adrenaline, the experience, the meds, all of it, I did not sleep for the next 24 hours.  The nurses kept telling me to sleep but I was WIDE awake.


Erin said...

Yup, never doing that. Adoption all the way. Or a surrogate mother. By the time it happens, I may very well NEED one!

Julia said...

Maui doesn't offer epidurals?! Sorry that that's what I took away, but I'm just in shock! Sorry it was so painful for you! Birth was my most painful experience, too, but now I feel like a wienie. You rock!

DangAndBlast! said...

Oh, goodness! Morphine allergy here (hey, at least I'll never be a heroin addict?), so I would have been in your shoes... and I'm so glad I wasn't!