Harvest

My brother asked me if I was prepared for the baby to be removed.  Always the sensitive fellow, he continued to refer to the day as "harvest day".  Having worked in agricultural research, 'harvest' seemed appropriate.  It is definitely the hardest and most time-consuming (and, duh, most important) part of farming. 
I guess with a scheduled c-section "baby removal" and "harvest", though un-emotional are accurate.  It is very strange knowing the exact day and time that my baby will be born.  It is strange knowing that I will have very, very little to do with it.  I just lay there, strapped to a table, numb from the chest down, and wait.   With Lily, I had no time to think about it.  After 13+ hours of labor, once they decided to do a c-section, it was over in 15 minutes.  I remember the green tile walls and the sound John Mayer in the background overlapping a nurse's conversation about what she had for lunch.  It was very real.  Not at all romantic and dramatic like the dimly lit scenes of the OR on TV. 
This time I have time to think about it.  It will be slower, I think.  Maybe even more strange. 
There are obvious advantages to having a schedule.  It is always nice to know things in advance and have a time to prepare.  Also, being completely unable to birth a child the "normal" way is actually comforting.  I don't feel guilt about the c-section like I did with Lily.  After her birth I kept thinking, 'what did I do wrong?'  and 'why couldn't I just do it?'.  It is nice to have a reason.  It is nice that the reason isn't just that I couldn't hack it.  Still, it is weird.  Weird to think that tomorrow, at 12:00 I will have a baby.  Outside of me.  Born.   Breathing.  Mine. 
What a miracle.  What a life.
Now. . .what to name this kid?