Day 2 (ish)
1. Ruining my kids. Either by my death or by my shortcomings, the fear is the same: my kids suffer because of me. Every time I roll my eyes, use passive-aggressive parenting or sigh in that cruel way I do when I am hungry. . .I realize this fear.
I am ashamed to admit, I ignored my daughter's plea for help until it got frantic while i typed the previous two sentences. See? My fear is legitimate.
2. Crocs. I know I didn't have to include an animal fear, but this is real. Of course sharks are scary in that "I am paddling out and I saw a fin in the wave so I am going to make a quick 180 out of here even though it is probably a harmless one" kind of way, but crocs are scary all the time. Even in Utah. I am not sure why, but I think it has something to do with my perception of their intelligence. Sharks, cougars and other scary predators seem pretty smart. I mean, sure they will eat you if they are desperate or if you are bleeding, but most of the time I think they are pretty much just hanging out waiting for something more their style. I feel like crocodiles will just barrel roll you because they don't know you from a 150 lb pile of bratwurst. They stupid. That why they scaaaaaarrrrry.
3. Offending people. After inadvertently offending several roommates in college (I am sure it happened all the time before I was just unaware of it) I realized that I say or do things that are taken the wrong way. I can be callous without knowing it. I am a narcissist and I don't realize that the way I say things are not always kind. I know this now and am so over-conscious of it now that I am constantly over-analyzing every conversation I ever have and pinpointing every time I probably offended someone with my filter-less lip. I lose sleep. It is horrible. You would think that my over-analysis would cure me of the core problem. You would think.
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Day 2 (ish)
Posted by Meg at 1:46 PM